Why Is It This Way?

Why is it that this life is so inescapable?
Why canâ�™t I run away?
Why do I have pain & sorrow, regret & shame?

Why do I love you?
I hate you!
I thought I hated you
But now here I am madly, deeply, uncontrollably in love with you

Why is it that when I cry itâ�™s only because of you?
Or when I sing or dream I only think of you?
That when I lay in bed there is only the image of you?
Your smile, your laugh, & all the silly things I see you do?
Though there is never a word spoken I will always
uncontrollably love you, dream of you, have my heart beat for you?
Though even as it beats each time for youâ�¦

â�¦.beat, beatâ�¦.thump, thump
it breaks for you tooâ�¦
â�¦.break, breakâ�¦.crack, crack

The feeling is painful.
I canâ�™t take it anymore
I canâ�™t take the crying.
I canâ�™t take that the one thing I want the most I canâ�™t have.
I want this feeling to go away
Maybe it will when you leave
When I never see you again
Maybe the pain, the sorrow, the regret, & the shame will all just go away.
The feelings, the crying, the beating, & the breaking will all just go away.
Because I canâ�™t take this anymore.
The taste of salty tears that fall into my mouth,
The sound of my shattering heart whenever youâ�™re around.
The feeling of painfulness everywhere I go.
I canâ�™t take it anymore
Itâ�™s eating me alive
I canâ�™t take loving you
But I guess I have to deal with this UNCONTOLLABLE LOVE
because no matter what I do I still say I love you even with the uncontrollable pain.
Though each time I say I do love you I wish it wasnâ�™t true
I wish there was someway you knew how much I uncontrollably love you.
Each time I think of you and how I love you I smile but them I wish I wish it wasnâ�™t true.
And I wonder

what did I do?
What did I say?
Why is it this way?

Brendon999love's Journals

Why Is It This Way?